If only
by moondreams151
Summary: Kagome tries to move on with life...No Inuyasha, no love, no romance! Working at a certain cafe helps her keep her calm. But every one with a broken heart has regrets...and Kagome is no different! If only...
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey guys...this is my second fic...deleted my first because of its cheesiness! I hate cheese! Anyways...hope you enjoy! Here's the first chappie. And please...please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeease review! Oh...and go easy on me...i'm very very sensitive too ya know!_**

(1st shot)

**Into the theatre of the mind**

It was just like any other day in the same old dinghy café in the same old city, Tokyo. The butt-grilling heat was the 'hot' topic of discussion lately….newspapers, TV advertisements, posters, billboards…all and sundry talked about the heat which made it all the more hot and intolerable. Twin pools of chocolate brown scanned the innards of the similar place she worked in. Most of the tables were occupied by couples, both happy and sad. Others were tortured by either screaming kids and equally screaming groups of adults! A delicious aroma of oden floated in the air along with other palatable delicacies.

What would you expect? It was the famous Mushin café after all, known best for its outstanding oden and wanton soup.

"Order up, Kagome?" a woman from the kitchen window chirped.

Kagome broke from her trance and turned to face her, "Oh! Thanks Kaede."

Kaede noticed the unusual paleness, "You okay Kaggie?"

"Oh um…I'm fine Kaede….fine." Kagome laughed nervously taking the tray of food. "Heat's growing on me! Okay….so table five eh?"

She scooted over to the corner table with her usual balancing act.

"Here you are sir." She chimed.

The doorbell clanged as another two familiar customers walked in.

"Hey Kagome!" the girl greeted the waitress.

"Oh! Hey Sango!" she lit up "Oh, and Kohaku! My my, someone's grown so tall!"

Kohaku sheepishly grinned and managed to choke out a 'Hi' in embassment.

Sango nudged her brother and piped in, "Kohaku will soon be going to college and….he's got a girlfriend too! Her name is…."

The young boy couldn't have turned any redder. He intentionally stepped on his sister's foot to shut her up.

She 'Ow'ed and bonked him in the head. "Whadya do that for?"

Kagome couldn't help bursting out into peals of laughter. The usual 'sibling show' Sango and Kohaku would always put up amused her to no end. It reminded her of her fights with Souta, her younger brother.

The girls started off doing their thing, talking about girl stuff, the unusual change in the atmosphere, clothes, books, bags, shoes, Miroku.

Speaking of Miroku, if asked to describe him in one word would, it would definitely be "Hentai!"

He was downright perverted and went around groping every object having legs and ahem!

Not to mention he was incredibly good looking and his charming methods of winning over women did not spare Sango either. She was immensely in love with him and so was he.

Except the part that he would never be seen without a lump in the head or a tattoo of Sango's hand-print in the face whenever they were together.

Minutes rolled by and the girls chatted away.

There were tables to be attended to, stains to be cleaned, dishes to be washed and mouths to be fed.

Kohaku's stomach shamelessly growled and turned heads.

"Umm….Sango, I'm starving!" he mumbled.

The young waitress clicked her tongue, "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

She zoomed past the angry and the busy tables and burst into the kitchen taking Kaede and the others in for surprise.

"Kaggie! It's Okay, okay? It's okay to get a life for a second ya know" Ayame remarked.

"Oh, stop 'okay'ing me Ayame. And it's not okay to zone out in between shifts. Oh Kami help! So much work left!"

"Ugh!" the other huffed "Talking to ol' pals when you meet them is not called zoning out ya know! Refer to the modern day dictionary!"

"Oh phuleez" Kagome rolled her eyes. "Gimme a break from your intellectual shit!"

"Girl, you are always working and never taking a day off!" Jinenji joined in.

"Oh cut the crap tall stuff and gimme the rug!" Kagome spat at him impaitiently. "I've got tables to clean!"

"I'm tellin' ya Jin, the way she works will make her age faster." Ayame turned towards Kagome who was pre-occupied with café duties.

"You mark my words over-timer ! You're face is gonna be so screwed up with wrinkles and dark patches that even all the cheesy creams of the world will not be enough! People will go about makin' yo mama jokes about ya and you'd never get to walk down the aisle!"

Immediately the rug dropped from her working hands. Eyes open wide and a horse galloped in her chest. Tears threatened to spill.

"Never get to walk down the aisle….get to work down the aisle…..to walk down the aisle…..walk down the aisle…..down the aisle….the aisle…aisle…."

That particular sentence turned on the green button to the deepest darkest memories of her heart.

The lights went off, the camera rolled; the curtains glided up and then began the moving picture of the life of Kagome Higurashi. Starring Kagome and her….!

In the whole theatre sat one person….just one….Kagome herself.

"Where am I?" came the usual silly question but realization soon dawned and her alarming eyes softened.

"I'm in the theatre….of my own mind!"

Aisle….marriage….love….

The huge white screen portrayed the spectroscopic view of her past….how colorful it had been…with him around.

"Inuyasha." The word left her mouth barely audible. She realized how much she missed the sound of his name in her voice and the sound of her name passing his lips.

"Kagome."

She turned around and found him. There he was, the same, the one and only, Inuyasha.

The man who had captured her heart and had torn her apart in a wink.

Her hands automatically reached out to touch his frame, but he dissolve into thin air.

"Kagome." Again he spoke out her name in his husky and seductive voice.

Her eyes scanned the whole area in desperation to feast in the sight of his visage.

"Where are you? she pleaded.

"Whadya mean where I am? Kagome….I'm here….Hello? Kagome?"

An object shaped like a human hand oscillated in front of her eyes. Her sight was clouded. With what? Her hands went up to rub her eyes and came in contact with something watery. Tears?

"Kaggie….stop being so sensitive and quit bawling yer eyes out. It was just a joke!"

The whole working staff had gathered around Kagome.

"Ayame….you seriously need to watch your mouth."

"Ayame strikes again!"

"Ayame! Quit buggin' Kagz wouldya?"

"STOP!" Kagome screamed. Numerous pair of eyes widened. "It's not Ayame's fault 'kay? I was the one acting weird…not her!"

Ayame sneered at them and put up a told-you-so attitude, going back to minding her own business.

"Gee….we're just tryin' to help!" commented one of them as they scattered and went back to their work.

In the meantime, Kaede had observed the whole episode and her wise, scrutinizing mind was sharp enough to grasp the ultimate explanation to Kagome's sudden change in behavior.

So she left some eggs to boil and walked towards her youngest staff member who had already resumed her position, only slower this time.

"Kagome." She spoke in a gentle womanly tone "I dearly hope you have dealt with the fact that he is never going to come back!"

A silent lone tear made its way down the waitress' pale cheek but she ignored it and continued with what she did best…cleaning tables and taking orders.

"Kagome. It's no use my dear. You've had your chance. Face it!" she said a little sterner than before.

Unable to force out a reply, "Kagome, look at me." Reluctance dominated at the first try.

"Look at me Kagome!" this time a pair of angst-ridden eyes looked up directly into the woman's face.

"I can't Kaede…..I-I can't!" and she gave in to sobs "If only…."

_**There it is! The first chappie! **_

_**Now please...press the review button right below! Love ya!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Here you go. Another chapter up! Hope you like it.**

(2nd shot)

**What's your name?**

Day, one millionth. Time, gimme a break!

"I'm tellin ya Kagsie…..You never ever ever ever ever ever…" Ayame rambled on.

"Enough with the alliteration, repitition or whatever that is Ayame!"

"Take a break!" she ended. "I did not alliterate!"

"Is that even s'posed to be a word?" Kagome muttered.

"Oh Kagsie, you hurt my feelings! You know I never even managed to clear my eighth grade….and just because you….."

"Would your generous highness be kind enough to QUIT IT!" Kagome boomed.

"Since when did I become the king?" Ayame tossed a tic tac in her mouth.

"More like a tyrant! And it's 'Queen' you gender confused dope!"

"How dare you call me that? I'm not gender confused! I'm a girl and you know I love a man! And besides….." Ayame stated proudly.

"Poor Kouga! I already feel sorry!" Kagome cut in rolling her eyes as she got back to washing the dishes clean.

"Unlike somebody else who's foolish enough to lose her guy!"

Kagome's eyes softened "So you know about it too?"

"Hell yeah Kaggie! You are the only good friend I have, so isn't it obvious?"

"Would you mind not bringing up that topic of discussion every time?" the raven haired girl spoke soft yet sternly.

Ayame's eyes widened and a small gasp escaped her mouth, "Oh Kagsie….I din't mean to! Oh man I'm so sorry! Oh man I'm such a….."

"Ayame!" Kaede spoke from behind. "What are you doing playing around, girl! There are tables to clean!"

Ayame let out a frustrated groan and turned towards Kagome.

"You'll be okay Kaggie?"

Kagome nodded.

"Kagome?" Kaede called.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to take the day off tomorrow!" said Kaede observing the hard-working waitress with interest.

"W-what? A day off?" Kagome blurted out. "B-but it's a Sunday tomorrow….and you guys won't be able to handle everything on your own, you know you need me….and…."

"I'll give you half of my share of tips. Will that do to keep you away from work for a day?"

"Y-yes…oh no…I mean no! I mean why would you…."

"Ayame and the others are right you know! You never take a break." The woman stated.

"But I don't need a break! I love to work and…." She left the sentence hanging.

"And?" Kaede enquired predicting the answer she'll get from Kagome.

"And….and….It helps me forg…..I mean, keeps me busy all the time! Keeps my sanity in check." Kagome turned away to avoid eye contact.

"You can't throw your life away for him, Kagome." Kaede placed her palm on the girl's shoulder comfortingly

"I wasn't talking about….."

"He was your past, and this is the present. All you need to do is move on Kagome…just the way you moved on in the past two years."

"…." no answer

"You were progressing Kagome. You had even gone out for holidays! What happened now? Summer's almost ending and here you are still working in this blistering heat!" she just wouldn't stop.

The girl in the opposite side sighed.

"It's not that easy Kaede. I've tried my level best to quit pondering over my past but…."

"But nothing! You are taking a day off tomorrow and that's it. Go shopping, go out with friends, visit your family, and go to the beach, party a little….that's life. I want you to live, Kagome. Live that life. Not the way you are living right now!"

Unable to absorb anymore of Kaede's 'Philosophy of life' she decided to give in. After all, what harm could it possibly do? Moreover, her wardrobe needed to be updated, there was some cleaning to be done in her apartment or maybe she could just visit her family at the shrine.

It had been quite a long time since she had met her family. She hadn't seen Souta in years since he had gone overseas for his studies. Hopefully he'll be at home.

"Okay. I'll do as you say!"

The day rolled by and her shift ended finally. Kagome took off her apron and tossed it over the hook. The heat was unbearable and the kitchen was claustrophobic with all the strong smells hitting her nose.

The outside air felt like a blessing against her skin even though the heat failed to subside.

"Better than the kitchen at least! It's mad in there especially with Ayame!" Kagome said exasperated.

The hour of dusk had fallen in. She let her eyes wander off to the splash of colors around her. Her busy schedule, made her oblivious to the hues of nature.

All she would do every day was rush to the café, work her ass out and rush back home.

The place had changed a lot. Sky-scrapers ruled the sky. More trees were planted. Old and hackneyed buildings were replaced by polished and new proud ones.

"Wow!" she whispered amazed.

The heat had fairly simmered down by then. The park nearby seemed so green and inviting, she couldn't help but take a stroll.

"Ah!" she took a deep breath "All those memories with dad here!"

She was too drunk in the beauty and her memories.

"Hey!" a little girl bellowed.

Kagome looked for the source and her sight landed on a little raven haired toddler and a half-eaten

Ice-cream cone fallen flat on the grass.

"Oops! I'm so sorry darling!" Kagome pleaded clicking her tongue. "Care for another one love?"

The little girl's pout automatically transformed into a beaming smile. The waitress yanked the little girl up and pecked on her cheek.

"So, what'll it be? Madagascar chocolate or strawberry soprano?" the ice-cream vendor asked.

"Strawberry! Strawberry!" the girl chirped.

Kagome paid for the ice-cream and knelt down to reach the little girl's level.

"So sweetheart, where's your mum?"

The little girl, engrossed in enjoying the blob of pinkish sweetness pointed her index finger towards the sky.

"There." She said with her mouth full. "Daddy says she's there. And she sees me and takes care of me from there."

Tears welled up in the young woman's eyes. She tucked a strand of the child's hair behind her ear and smiled at her comfortingly.

"So you're here with daddy huh?"

The child nodded as she noisily slurped at the half ice-cream.

"Okay then. Shall we look for him?"

Another nod. Kagome sighed. "You seem to like strawberry a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah!" The little girl replied finally finishing with her delicacy "My fav!"

"So where is your dad?"

"By the fountain. Reading."

They slowly walked towards their destination and the fountain came into view.

"What's your name?" the little girl asked.

"I'm Kagome. And what's your name?"

"Kikyou."

**How long does it take to review? Not long enough right? So go ahead! Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. I'm back. sorry for the delay. Projects and assignments kinda weighed me down. **

_**Bold italics-** _Lines of the book

_Italics- _Inuyasha's past

**On with the story.**

(3rd shot)

_**Past **_**and present**

Long silver tresses danced to the melody of the gliding breeze. Eyes rooted to the lines of the book on his lap.

"_**Yes she's dead?" I answered, checking my sobs and drying my cheek. "Gone to heaven I hope; where we may, everyone join her, if we take due warning and leave our evil ways to follow good!"**_

The lines in the book seemed to be dangerously familiar with his past. He dove into the sea of his painful memories.

"_Congratulations Mr. Tashio. You have a beautiful baby girl!" said the doctor. It was evident from his voice that he was nervous. He knew Inuyasha's temperament. He would tear down the hospital if he heard about his wife._

"_I am a dad?" he blurted out. "I have a girl?"_

"_Y-yes. But Mr. Tashio, I h-h-have b-bad news about….."_

_He had hardly finished the sentence when pain gripped his neck._

"_What bad news? Where is my wife? What's wrong with her?" yelled the half-demon at the doctor's face._

_The nurse nearby rushed to his aid and begged Inuyasha to let go of the poor man._

"_WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY WIFE?" he barked at the nurse loosening his grip on the man's neck._

"_She's under intensive care. Her heart gave out due to labour." The nurse panted "But sir, I suggest…"_

_A flash of red zoomed past her eyes before she could finish. The sound of the now-conscious dostor's rapid coughs brought the nurse's attention._

"_Doctor Myouga!" the nurse screamed as she kneeled down to his level._

"_Stop him." He managed to choke out._

_Time froze around the young father. His hands felt cold as he placed it against the glass window of the ICU room. He watched the life drain out of his beloved and he couldn't do anything about it. He swore on his own soul that he would protect her with his life, but there she was, lying helpless. A painful lump in his throat was hard to swallow. Tears refused to fall out of his eyes; he was shocked beyond compare._

"_No." He whimpered unable to bear the pain in his heart. The pain of losing the love of his life again._

_He couldn't speak out her name. Why couldn't he speak out her name? _

_Was he afraid? Was he afraid that it would kill him?_

_Why afraid of being killed? He'd be glad to join her in death._

_**He endeavored to pronounce the name, but could not manage it; and compressing his mouth he held a silent combat with his inward agony.**_

"I'm glad I didn't give up." He spoke to himself as he pictured the frame of his little daughter.

A smile lit up his face as he spotted his little princess walking towards him. He gently closed the book and tucked it in his coat pocket.

But who is this other girl? Raven hair and a hand-me-down waitress uniform.

Familiar. Very familiar.

"I know this girl!"

Then lightning stuck demarcating his thoughts about his past and present.

"_Kagome!"_

**Sorry guys. Couldn't write much. Spent most of my time in project work! Hoping that the next chappie will be longer.**

**And I want reviews. Please! Review. Would it kill you to review?**


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